Divorce can cost you time, money, psychological and emotional distress. It is a time of unbelievable uncertainty. Each decision you make has enormous weight in long-term repercussions. The last thing you want to do is make any mistake during your divorce.
Do you always make the best judgments when you’re feeling very emotional? Probably not, and that’s okay. We’ve all been there, but as a result, you should try to find a way to set your sentiments aside if at all workable. By educating yourself on your divorce situation, you will better be prepared to make intelligent decisions for the future. Moreover, you will avoid feeling at the mercy of the process.
Let’s take a look at some of the most common mistakes we see in the divorce process, along with suggestions on avoiding them.
1. You Aren’t in Control of Your Emotions
Divorce is a traumatic ordeal for all parties involved. No one can blame you for having strong feelings due to the breakup of your marriage and family. It is a big mistake to allow your emotions to control you when negotiating the terms of your divorce or in court, however. For example, you may be so furious with your spouse that you refuse to compromise on a specific issue. While it’s understandable that you are frustrated, cooperation of parties is key to resolving your case.
Your partner may be unwilling to make a compromise on something more essential to you. You may become so upset that you lash out at your spouse in meetings or court, making you look untrustworthy to the judge. This could endanger your case or even harm your child custody case if there are children involved in the divorce.
When you are not in control of your emotions, you also fail to negotiate appropriately. Emotional trauma may make you want to inflict the same anguish on your spouse. In defeat, you might feel powerful by digging in your heels and refusing to meet in the middle.
Sometimes when we are full of frustration, rage, and bitterness, it is easy to blame the other party, so it is common for those undergoing a divorce to badmouth their spouse. If you feel obligated to do so throughout your divorce proceedings, it will backfire. Defaming your spouse in front of your children or others might affect your child custody case as well.
Whatever your feelings are toward your spouse, keep them private and do not expose your children to your frustrations. Any negative comments you make about your spouse to others can be used against you in court if they are recanted, so before you speak out against, take a minute and reconsider your actions.
2. You Leave Trails of Unpleasant Conversations Between You and Your Ex-Spouse
Always remain civil and friendly in your communications. Avoid leaving a trail of argumentative, aggressive, angry, or otherwise unpleasant text messages, emails, voice mails, or any other communications. These can and often will be used against you in court.
What should you do to avoid emotional mistakes?
The best approach to resolve a divorce in a win-win situation is to be fair. Be prepared to bargain in good faith. We recommend limiting conversations. Remember to keep your cool and hold your tongue. As with any legal matters, the less you say to anyone outside of your legal counsel, the better.
Never engage in actions forced by emotions. They might be used against you, too. If you’re unsure, consult with your divorce attorney. If you need to vent — call a friend.
3. You Mishandle Financial Issues During the Divorce Process
The financial factors of your marriage play a significant role in your divorce. Any bank accounts and liabilities are included, as well as income, businesses, and the marital property you or your spouse have in whole or in part. Many divorcees confront a similar difficulty while establishing their initial assets. They can omit important information. Or fail to present the documents required to prove an interest in a specific item.
Let’s assume you don’t have any counter-evidence to back up your claim to your marital property. But your spouse has all the essential paperwork to back up their claim. If this is the case, you may lose what is legally yours after the divorce is finalized.
In divorce proceedings, alimony is a contentious subject. Especially if one spouse was the primary provider. If either spouse wants alimony, both parties must agree before the divorce settlement.
4. You Overlook Assets That Your Spouse Has Sought to Conceal
During a divorce, people frequently make several mistakes. The most common and often most costly mistake is to miss assets that your spouse has sought to conceal. Believe it or not, large sums are defrauded from divorcing spouses each year. Divorce may be expensive, but it may get much worse when partners take on excessively short-sighted behaviors.
5. You’re Racking up Debt
Some people assume that their spouses will be responsible for paying expenses, often because they are not the primary provider or do not earn more money. As a result, the non-breadwinner may go on shopping sprees. They may max out credit cards, or they bankroll massive purchases because they think their spouse will be required to pay. But, this isn’t always the case. The loan can be divided. The judge may see the spending pattern and recognize it for what it is, and order the spouse who made the purchases to return the debt.
6. You Are Underestimating Your Expenditures
Your failure to get an accurate picture of your present and future expenditures is not ideal. It might lead you to poor divorce decisions. You’re going to want to plan for and accurately track your expenses.
7. You’re Allocating Assets Carelessly
You have to make a thorough inventory of everything you have. How much did you pay for it? And its current fair market worth before distributing property and assets. Be diligent about listing assets and allocating them accordingly.
8. You Neglect to Pay Your Taxes
Failing to pay your taxes can have severe consequences, not just on you, personally — but your divorce as well. Take the time to consider the tax consequences of your divorce and have your attorney help you handle the matters correctly.
What should you do to avoid financial mistakes?
- Maintain your spending habits throughout your divorce and the weeks leading up to it.
- Do not underestimate expenses.
- Always ensure your financial stability.
- Have a comprehensive view of your present and future costs.
- Keep an eye on your shared accounts and make sure that your spouse’s spending will not be falsely attributed to you if they attempt to go on a shopping spree pre-divorce.
Moreover, no one wants a drawn-out divorce — this is why many people seeking a divorce ask for help from a detail-oriented, experienced divorce lawyer. You want a divorce lawyer who knows how to locate hidden assets and who is an expert in Tennessee divorce laws.
9. When It Comes to the Family Home, You Make an Emotional Decision
Primary custody of the children doesn’t mean you have to shoulder everything. It would be best if you did not restrain yourself from maintaining the family home. You have to consider your income and spending, as well as the cost of owning and maintaining a home.
More challenges to child support, custody, and parental rights may come your way. You’ll need to establish a custody and visitation agreement. Show that you deserve your children’s time, and that you can meet their emotional and psychological needs.
Child support is typically a point of contention. It often happens when custody is split between parents. You will need to provide information about your child’s economic history and be up-front with your intentions.
10. You’re Too Detached From Your Children
You may feel that obtaining custody of your children is improbable. Some may put less effort into attending recitals, practices, and other events. You may think the other parent must take the kids to activities, so you opt to be less involved. This is never a good call.
Divorce is a stressful time for all involved, especially the children. Ensure that you are providing support for your children during this tough time and that you are remaining emotionally open and available to them.
11. You Are Badmouthing Your Ex in Front of the Children
Your ex-spouse is still the parent of your children. Any negative or cruel things you say about them might affect your child’s feelings as well. Be mindful of your words — especially around your children.
12. You Neglect to Discuss Your Divorce With Your Children Openly
Consider again if you think you’re keeping something from your kids. Your children need reassurance that everything will be OK. They need to know that things will be different, but that this process is not their fault and that both of you will still love and support them.
What should you do to avoid parental mistakes?
Avoiding talking badly about your ex in front of the kids is. Continue to provide a positive example for your children.. Not only is it important to teach them values through this ordeal, but it is vital to your case that you remain a good parent, regardless of how you may feel about your spouse.
Let your children know that the divorce is not their fault. Allow them to ask questions. Give the answers and support they need, and allow them to be vulnerable. .
To improve your chances of getting joint custody of your children, you must show your commitment.
- Go with your children to appointments.
- Take part in fun activities with your children.
- Get more involved in their daily routine.
- Be a vital part of their lives.
Hire an Experienced Tennessee Divorce Lawyer to Represent You
You don’t just need someone to guide you through the complexities behind filing for divorce. You need someone who will listen and win the best possible outcome for you.
Experienced Tennessee divorce attorney Hunter Fowler is here to help you through the divorce process.
He has handled many divorce cases just like yours and will work through your divorce with and for you, fighting for the outcome that works best for you and your family.
From establishing temporary parenting plans to simply filling you in on Tennessee divorce law in all of its details, we are here for you. Contact us today to get the legal counsel you deserve.